OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
You made out with two different species that night
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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