Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
farters have to be the big spoon...
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
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