Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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