she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
