I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Randomize
