I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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