is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
