so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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