There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
this hospital has no fireball
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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