Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Randomize
