How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
