she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
