Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
