This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
