Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
