he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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