I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
