everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
