The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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