Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
