I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Randomize
