Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
