Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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