She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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