While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
