you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
