idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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