by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
