opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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