My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
