toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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