dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
