Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
