Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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