So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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