So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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