Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
zippers are such a cool invention
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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