I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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