Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
