I hate your face
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
