You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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