i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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