i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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