i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
