I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
