at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
