everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I could make wine with my vomit
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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