She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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