So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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