so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
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