there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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