k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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