Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
